Hello Blogging world! Its been a little bit since I wrote last... Life has been busy!
I'm not a fan of winter. I don't recall if I've mentioned this on here or not yet. I.HATE.SNOW. Period. This past Sunday Wisconsin decided to dump 34,245,385,349 inches of snow on us. Then yesterday it dumped a couple more inches. I.AM.OVER.WINTER. Okay. I'm done complaining now... for now.
So randomness- Jon and I have decided to start trying to make a baby. (Exciting, right? I know!) Month 1 is now over. I wasn't really expecting to become pregnant in Month 1. However, it seems I am a little disappointed that I didn't. Mostly I think it is because we both want this SO badly. Okay, a little back story on myself. I was married in the past and my ex and I tried to get pregnant to no avail. We decided to have some fertility testing done after about 2 years and we found it his little swimmers... didn't swim very well. We stopped all of my testing after that. I still don't know if there is anything wrong with me. AND THAT TERRIFIES ME. Any who, while I know this isn't my past relationship (thank god) and that I should compare that experience with how this one will be. I just can't help it. I just cant help but to think that Jon and I will be trying for YEARS. I don't know how well I'll handle that. Anyways, I digress. To put it a little shorter- we have decided, after much thinking, to start our family and I AM TERRIFIED. Terrified that we won't be able to get pregnant. Terrified that I will get back into my "depressed" funk I got it with my last experience. Terrified that I won't be able to give Jon everything he wants.
I am just terrified. Story of my life! Anyone reading this? If so... have you ever had problems conceiving? Or have problems worrying too much about these kind of things? I know I am thinking WAAAAY ahead. I keep trying to tell myself "Brittany, it's only been a month. YOU have no reason to worry, yet". Lets see if it starts kicking in...
Goodnight blog readers
xoxo, Brittany